i am a nineteen year old college student, and i am hungry. hungry for not just knowledge but for food. it is true when people tell you that as soon as you go to college that you become instantly bankrupt. i have spent 500 bucks on books the last 2 days, and about 300 on supplies to make my dorm livable, supplies including things to make me livable to my dorm mates as well(deodorant and such). you should see this place, call me a spoiled brat but i sure would like someone to take care of me right about now.
eh anyway i have started classes as of yesterday, so far so good, at least by my standards. and that’s what college is about, meeting your personal standards. at least to my knowledge. let me inform you of my day. i wake up Monday Wednesday, and Friday to the same schedule of calculus, business, anthropology, economics and writing.
i begin at 8oclock eastern standard time when i haul myself to my calculus class. math is not my thing exactly, i think i lack the part of the brain that computes numbers. my professor is a nice older woman who seems to have too much of the part of the brain that computes numbers; words are not her strong point. one hour later i am free from this.
next comes business. a class i am somewhat excited about because i have always been interested in funny business, and now a class to teach me how to partake in it just makes life grand. my professor is a hellava guy, he inhaled 35 names in a matter 60 minutes by using memory devices such as making fun of the name of the kid if he was lucky, or by completely putting some kids on the spot by asking them business questions that they had not been taught to solve and then saying “what do we say to (insert name) ……….BULLSHIT”. fortunately my name is unique enough that i had a good time just observing this circus.
i have an intermission in my day here for a few hours where i could do anything from study, to doing jumping jacks or something else mind expanding.
class 3 is cultural anthropology, this class scared me. it scared me because it fit the profile of all bad college movie classrooms. it is in a relatively large classroom so i was concerned about the size until i got to know the teacher. after she began talking i honed in and the world around me disappeared, except for the occasional dumb chatty cathy in the back that i actually wanted to slap. the professer seems to have a way about her speech that makes the most heartless of people care for one another, i felt tears in my eyes when i began hearing tales about the repatriation of the Haudenosaunee indian tribe to their homelands. this is when my self interest radar went off, i think that i can use the estrogen that i have to come up with heartfelt BS about sympathizing with poor displaced indigenous people to get the poor heartfelt professor to give me a genuine and sincere A+ on my papers. what an easy kill.
the next class is microeconomics, something that actually gets me going. it is so exciting to me that it is comparable to a cup of coffee. in it i observed all the other students fall asleep, and it was hard not to, considering that the professor is a man so old that i literally could not hear him over the air conditioning, and i was in the front row. i was grateful the other students were asleep otherwise their talking with each other would have made reading the teacher’s lips next to impossible. i do have a fitting for a hearing device coming up so i should be fine.
last in my day is a writing class that gives me butterflys, why you ask? the teacher is a cute one, so it’s a perfect time for me to work on my romance novel and let her give me her input after class. she is not old enough for the mrs robinson alusion so i will abstain, but she will definately keep my eye contact.
Oh, Cooper, you are so witty and clever! I know your professors will all love you! I am going to forward this link to Matille so she can laugh as much as I did.
haha i love you coop! this is great!
cooper! son, you are a writer. is it that the thing you avoided and resisted and that scared you most in your youth is what you will become as an adult? a great writer? yes, already so.
wagwan wagwan
Cooper you are the best. You made my day with this!! I miss you so much….Love Mama
Cooper.
You should be writing for Leno. This is great and I hope you
can please your professors as well as you can your fan club.
Work hard and good things will happen.
Much Love
Paula
Ooper,
Do you remember me? I can’t believe you’re old enough to be in college, funny man. I bet the cute girls reading this will really think that it’s hot that you have such an old aunt.
XO
SM
Cooper,
Do you remember me? If you think your Auntie is old, ask your Dad
how old I am. He told me he was going to require a Dr.’s slip before
we could visit him again.
AFTER you graduate, I will share with you my college experience!!
Love
Paw Paw
Coop, I think journalism should be your forte. Have a fantastic college experience. Your fellow classmates certainly will with you around. I enjoyed reading everyone’s response. Lots of Love, Renay
Dear Cooper,
I want a signed edition of your first book. I know that you are on your way to something important. Don’t forget your OLD
Aunties. Take advantage of every learning opportunity. When we are able to have a winter or summer lunch, you can (in the words of Grandma Shirley) EDGIMACATE us.
Love to you always
Nonie
Cooper I love reading yer blog! love Bug
–
Miss youuuuu