I know that it’s been quite a while since I’ve blogged, but I’ve had a lot going on. Mainly school work because as the title suggests…I don’t really have much of a social life.
I went home for my fall break which was October 15-18. So…it was sort of a joke of a break in the sense that it was just a three day weekend. But I still enjoyed SO much. I always like going home because I miss my family and my boyfriend a lot. I went to my high school on Friday to visit the orchestra people and then ate lunch with some friends there and went and saw some old teachers. I really had a good time. I felt kind of weird walking around the school since I had graduated, but I’m pretty sure people would have thought that I was still a senior since I don’t really look that much older at all. I mean…it hasn’t even been a year. Very weird. But anyway that was really nice. I had some of the greatest teachers my senior year.
Then the rest of the weekend I spent seeing some current senior friends and my boyfriend
The week and weekend after that were horribly stressful because I had two papers to work on pretty much at the same time. I had a writing workshop paper over the poem “Dover Beach” due that Thursday (just the rough draft though) and then a psychology paper due the following Monday. I found it really ironic that my psychology paper that I wrote was about stress and coping, yet, I was stressing out trying to get it done that weekend. I sort of procrastinated on it a bit, so I guess that was my fault, but still. I got it done. I haven’t gotten it back yet, but we’ll see how things go. As for that paper on “Dover Beach” by Matthew Arnold…holy crap…I wrote 6-7 pages over a poem. A melancholy poem that’s all about human misery. But in all fairness I did pick the poem so, I can’t really complain too much. I guess I’m just really mad about the fact that the paper had to be so long. I REALLY don’t like this teacher and am literally counting the number of classes I have left with him (11 including today). He’s basically a pompous jerk, to be brutally honest. I won’t go into any more detail besides that because I could probably go on for 6 or 7 pages about that.
I’m still doing really well in music theory (the written part) because the things we’re working on are still a part of what I learned last year in AP music theory. I’m nervous for when we get to new stuff. But I think I take pretty good notes so, I should be all right. And my teacher is very very helpful. My aural skills classes are still pretty hard. I think I’m getting better at it all, but pretty much everyone around me except for one other student in my class is better at it than me because they’re in choir so, they sort of have a better handle on all of it. But again, my teacher is very very helpful so, I don’t feel alienated or anything in that class. I have my next sight singing audit coming up this week so hopefully it will go better than last week. Even though I had a panic attack last time and had to come back, I ended up getting a 90 overall. So, that was pretty cool. When it comes to piano, I’m also getting better. Slowly but surely. I like learning new instruments though. So it’s fun
I have my first symphony concert this week and my mom gets to come! I’m really excited to see her. It’s also alumni weekend so she just moved her reservations up a day early so that she can come to my concert
So, as you can see…my college experience pretty much only consists of school work and orchestra. I’ve made friends, but I don’t really hang out with them much. It’s hard for me to really put myself out there and try to be someone’s friend because I am so introverted. It isn’t that I don’t like them or that I think they don’t like me, it just takes me longer than most people to feel like I can open up to people. And I guess I just really miss my other friends that are at school too and back home. Some of my friends are at A&M so they have each other. One friend is at A&M corpus christi and hating it and will probably transfer to Blinn or A&M next year. One of my friends is at Austin College being the social butterfly that she is and same thing with another one of my friends that’s at University of Minnesota. I don’t really do much on the weekends so, I’ll end up calling one of them because I’m so lonely. I get really upset sometimes because I miss them so much. I really don’t think that I get upset because I haven’t made many friends here, I really think it has to do with the fact that I can’t just call them up and say “hey, let’s go eat” or “do you wanna go see a movie?” It’s when that reality sets in that I get horribly upset. Luckily, once I’m on the phone with one of them, I feel a lot better and they’re able to make me feel better. I wanted to go to a school that was the right choice for me, not just because my friends are there. I still feel like Trinity is a great fit for me and I like it here, I just really miss them. And another harsh reality that sets in that gets me really upset is how much long-distance relationships can really suck. I miss my boyfriend SO much. And a lot of what gets me through these upsets is knowing that in a couple of weeks, I’ll get to see him again. I don’t regret still being with him now that I’m at school in the slightest. I would be WAY more upset if he and I weren’t together while I was here. I’d feel so much more alone. I knew it’d be hard but I guess I just didn’t realize how alone I’d sometimes feel here and how much harder it would make it. I hate realizing “oh yeah, you have to wait yet TWO MORE weeks to see him.” Which is how I’m feeling now.
I’m trying to put myself in more social situations. I’m actually rushing, but it seems like every rush event has been on a night when I have symphony rehearsal. No joke. It’s sort of ridiculous. But also, the only one that I’m actually going to rush and pledge to is Mu Phi Epsilon which is the sorority/fraternity for music students that’s very low key and a lot about just hanging out together. I’ve made some friends through that already or at least met people that seem like they want to get to know me better.
Well, there’s a Carly update for you! I’ll try not to go on such a hiatus next time.